- Take care. - Love you.
- I just want to see you again. - I know. I can't put the phone down.
- I can't either. - I've got to. I've got to.
- This is terrible. - It's only gonna be two days.
- I love you. - I love you too.
- This is terrible. - It's only two days. I love you.
- I love you too. - Two pizzas for delivery.
- What kind of pizza? - Do you do stuffed crust?
- Stuffed crust, thin, deep pan. - You do do deep pan?
- 9-, 12- or 15-inch. - Which is the large of those?
- 15-inch. - And the medium is?
- 12-inch. - Uh, yeah, 12-inch, deep pan.
There's chicken kievs in the freezer.
- What shall I have with it? - Half a cabbage.
Where?
- Thin crust, deep pan. - Wh-wh-where's the cabbage.
- This is terrible. - Deep pan.
- I-I-I-I love you. - C-c-cabbage.
- Nine, 12, 15-inch. - This is terrible. Terrible.
- Ch-ch-chicken kievs. - Terrible.
Shannon, I thought you'd gone.
No. 13-hour shift, though. Not bad for a Sunday.
- What we got? - Bad RTA. Everything's broken.
- Shannon? - Sorry, I'm off-duty.
Call X-Ray, an anesthetist and we can go.
Any chance of any help here? I need fluids!
- You were going. - It was just a phase.
- By the way, happy birthday. - Cheers.
Hello? All clear. Over.
- Got that, Danny. - Copy that.
Roger. Over.
Roger.
I can't believe it. An old infrared system.
No temperature monitor, no movement sensor.
This stuff's out of the Ark.
- Yes, that's why we're here. - Child's play.
No problem for you, then.
You want anchovies? You want-you want anchovies?
Hi!
I'm so sorry I'm late.
Horrible.
I am starving! I'm gonna eat till I faint.
I'm just gonna... change.
Deep pan. Ca-ca-cabbage.
- What are you doing? - This is takeaway. Want some?
- No, we're going out. - Are we?
Ray, it's my birthday!
Shit, I forgot. Sorry, I remembered earlier then forgot again.
Get your coat and let's go now, then.
I'm not really hungry right now.
Well, let's just have a drink.
Another night, baby, I've really got to work on this.
- Pizza-pizza. I love you too. - Oh, yeah. Right. Course. Sorry.
What's more important than your urban noise symphony installation?
Here we go.
This is my work here!
Hello?
This is my life!
Precisely.
You don't understand this, you don't get it.
What? No, I'll tell you what I do get - you'd rather stay in here
eavesdropping on other people's lives
than actually having one with me!
- Right? - Yeah.
And I wonder why that is.
This is terrible. Yeah.
- Love you. - I love you too.
Shut up!
You know nothing of despair!
My despair fell on me like a shroud, and I struggled to shake it off.
- But in vain. - Thus, Green Eyes,
let me share your misfortune and turn it into our heaven.
You bastard!
Now I really am...
all alone.
What a piece of crap!
I thought it went quite well. You were good.
- Surprise! - What are you doing here?
- Well, it was your last night. - Thank God.
I caught the last bit, the end was really...
- Please don't. - OK.
I thought you were seeing Ray tonight?
I insulted his equipment so he's in a huff.
- He ditched you on your birthday? - Yeah.
- Well, I'm taking you out. - No, it's all right...
- You kidding? It's your birthday! - OK.
- I'm not drinking, though. - OK.
- You won't get me drunk. - They're for me. Perrier for her.
Oh, for God's sakes!
- It's my birthday! - I'm unemployed!
- All right, sweetheart? - Back off!
Ray! What is he good for?
- Absolutely nothing! - Say it again!
I will - Ray!
- What is he good for? - Absolutely nothing!
Say it again!
There's two girls in the street. Over.
Go on, fart again!
- All right? - It's not funny.
- Get it out. - I want to.
- Stand still. - One of 'em's got her shoe stuck.
And the other one's sort of helping her to pull it out.
I think they're drunk. Over.
Fascinating. What color's her dress?
Are you wearing any knickers? You're not!
Well...
it's more like, um, a skirt and, er...
and... and a little top.
It's all right, she's got it out. Over.
It's all clear! Over!
Listen!
If it's important, call in. Otherwise, shut up!
Copy that. Roger and out.
Why's that retard on the job?
Ever since his uncle got shot I've sort of felt responsible.
You were responsible.
Obviously I don't... I don't know the full circumstances...
So let's have a little heart-to-heart about it, shall we?
Or shall we get on with our job?
You're my best friend, Sharon.
- Shannon. - Shannon.
You know, I care about you.
Listen to me, you deserve to be happy.
- Thank you. - You do, you know?
I just think that you should...
- What was I talking about? - Ray.
Ray.
Ray...
- You gotta dump him. - I know.
You do. Seriously, there's tons of guys.
- Gorgeous guys who are also nice. - Yeah.
I don't know where they are, but...
They're like the abdominal snowman.
People say they exist but no one's seen one.
Well, maybe I'm doomed to end up like those old ladies
on park benches with their legs open so you can see their knickers.
This is Kelly, you know what to do after the beep.
Kelly, pick up the phone.
Pick up the phone, babe. You always do this. What's goin' on?
You said you'd be there, where are ya?
What exactly does he do with all this stuff?
Well, apparently they're not recordings,
they're found digital sound sculptures.
Loser!
- So who you been out with? - A friend.
- Jealous boyfriend... - So who was there? That Mickey?
- What? - That git who works in a club.
- The Mixer. - Mickey was there.
Why shouldn't I see my friends, Danny?
- If you're screwing around... - Wanker!
- I mean it. - What's that?
- That's his phone number, I think. - We're callin' him.
- No. - Yes.
- You're drunk! - He's an asshole!
- Yeah? - I'm with the big boys now.
- I'm working with Mason. - Right.
This is the big one, Kel. After this I won't need to do no more.
That's what you said before, Danny. You got two years.
Police! Police!
Coming up Bohemia Road.
- Turning into Church Street. - My street!
I know, I know!
He's in Manton Street, comin' our way.
Oh, no, he's turnin' left into our street. He's comin' towards ya.
He's comin' towards the bank.
He's gone. It's all clear. Over and out.
They're robbing a bank! They're robbing a bank!
- We don't know for sure. - Yes, we do! We heard them!
- We saw the police car - it fits! - What?
- All of it! - Where are you going?
- We'll get the reward. - Francis, you're absolutely pissed.
I'm totally focused.
- Where is my jacket?! - You're wearing it.
- All right. - Wait!
Hold on!
Can I have a drum-roll, gentlemen?
It may look easy...
And it is.
You sure it wasn't kids messing about?
- It sounded like a bank robbery. - Not you again, Charlie!
- What's this? - I don't know. I've never seen 'em.
- I'll tell him. - No, you are drunk and American.
If we've got a car I'll send someone.
OK, OK, fine, let's go.
I demand you investigate!
Look! I've got muggings, street fights, the whole works tonight
and I'm not gonna waste resources on some half-overheard phone call.
- Stop it! - Take a lot of drugs, do you?
Someone planted them on me.
OK, Top Gun, we're movin' out.
Copy that. I'm goin' to the van now. Over and out.
Tricky one for a Monday morning.
We'll give the answer later but the time is...
It's eight o'clock.
Oh, shit!
- Aspirin! - The top shelf of the cabinet.
Next to the Q-Tips.
Oh, God.
Captain! Only 10 seconds before the pumpkin explodes!
- Francis, try it with an accent. - All right.
Keptin, only 10 seconds before the pempkin explodes!
Yeah, that's a bit racist.
Tell you what, give it bags of energy.
Captain! Only 10 seconds before the pumpkin explodes!
That's great, hang on to that. Now... do it totally laid-back.
Captain... only 10 seconds before the pumpkin explodes.
Great. Hold on to that, too. Now, put the two together.
Put them together, you know - bags of energy...
Throw the ball away.
I guess I don't understand what an alien tomato sounds like,
- really. - Sweetheart, we're all in the dark.
I'm on a journey here, too.
Pliers and a cutter. Security override system.
Hollow-core titanium-tipped drill.
Not exactly under-equipped.
I suppose it's too much to expect that anybody heard anything?
It's unlikely. Not really a residential area.
Some nice loft conversions.
Good place to buy, actually. Prices could go through the roof.
If you applied the same meticulous research to burglary,
we might stand a chance of solving this.
Tremaine!
Looks like it's all gone tits-up.
You realize we passed a security assessment of this place last month.
Who'd have thought they'd do a Mission: Impossible?
It's our job to think that, McGill - who else is going to if we don't?!
It's a bloody embarrassment.
Shannon? It's me. I'm back.
- What's going on? - I packed up all your stuff.
- Why? - Cos you're leaving.
- It's over. - Since when?
Probably about two years ago.
You're just... just angry about last night. You'll calm down.
No. Tell you what, I'll ring you so you can record me.
I'll say "Ray, it's finished," and you can play it back.
You are so narrow-minded, you know that?
You're afraid of what you don't understand.
It's unhealthy to have your head so far up your arse.
I'm a nurse, I know these things.
Right.
OK. Fine.
Ray?!
I forgot one!
How's things, Francis?
Things are not good, Paul. Not good.
- What happened to you? - I was doing Snow White.
Tripped over a dwarf.
Do you sometimes feel we're killing time as we crawl toward death?
Well, that's showbiz.
Now we go over to Jamie Spencer
who's actually in Hatton Garden at the scene of the robbery.
Police are hunting a gang who carried out a raid
on a bank here in Beckworth Street last night.
The money was stolen from Goldmax Securities in central London.
The robbers tunneled from the neighboring building
into the bank's vaults.
Police say it must have taken most of the weekend.
Because they targeted safe deposit boxes
it's far from easy to establish how much money was stolen,
but it could be at least £10 million.
Oh, my God!
Sorry, Mr. Winters! Sorry, sorry.
I'll see you later, Paul.
- Look at that. - What is it?
- Danny's number! - So?
You realize what's happened?
- Can she hear? - No, she's unconscious.
The cops haven't a clue and I have the number of a robber here.
- And low standards of hygiene. - Everything for a reason.
- Go to the police. - No, we tried that.
I've got a better idea.
- What are you talking about? - Right, get this.
- We call the robbers. - Why would we call them?
We tell them we want money or we'll go to the cops.
- What do you think? - You're mad.
But is it madness or is it genius?
We have a special place here for people like you.
- The Laburnum ward. - It's a great idea!
One was brunette, the other was blonde.
- Dyed blonde or natural? - How would I know?
- Yes, good point. - Anything else?
The blonde one was pretty, the other one was attractive, too.
Was she more attractive than the attractive one
or was it the other way round?
Look, there was a full-scale riot in here last night.
- What do you expect? - All right.
Nothing else?
The brunette had a big watch on her right wrist.
Like a diver's watch. That's it.
Interesting. It's not much, just a few crumbs,
but we're grateful just the same.
I know.
Francis, I'm not getting involved.
- Come on. - No!
- Why? - I won't start stealing money!
It was in safety deposit boxes, it's probably stolen in the first place.
We'd be recycling it. Giving it a better home.
It's not a puppy.
Come on, will you look at us?
I'm unemployed and can't get a job as an alien tomato.
You spend every day covered in blood and vomit,
and you wasted your best years on a useless guy.
Wake up tomorrow, you're 50, fat, alone and broke.
Thanks.
It doesn't have to be that way, just take some chances.
How good would some new clothes feel?
You could take a trip, I could get a new car.
All right, listen, seriously.
Material concerns aside, look at this like it's an adventure.
- Just to get us out of this rut. - My clothes are fine.
It's not gonna happen.
You could buy something for the hospital,
a heart machine or incubator thing, you know.
The valves and the tubey stuff...
- for the premature babies. - For the babies?
- Yeah. - What about your new car?
Hospitals never have enough money.
So this place gets another 100 grand.
- How many lives does that save? - You're absolutely right, dear.
You see? Thanks.
- You'd do all that with the money? - Yes.
- Really? - Some of it.
Most of it.
One lousy little phone call.
What exactly would you say?
I don't know, something like "give us the money or you're in trouble."
Pathetic! I wouldn't believe you for a second!
OK. Everyone wants to direct. What else?
Well, you'll have to sound hard and mean.
And you have to sound English.
- You do it, then. - I can't act!
- Where's your self-esteem? - What do you mean? I'm an actress.
Listen, we know you done that bank job.
- Is it bank job or is it heist? - Blag. No, I think it's blag.
We know you done that bank blag.
No, it just doesn't sound right.
- Listen to me, Danny, you slag. - What?
That's what they say. I did this drama workshop in Wandsworth Prison.
We know you done that bank job,
and unless you want to see the police it'll cost... What?
What's it gonna cost 'em?
A defibrillator's 50 grand but they won't pay us that.
- They've got 10 million. - True.
Plus a Mercedes, plane tickets, luggage for the vacation.
- An adorable Cartier watch... - Stop.
- So all that's, what, 100 grand? - 150.
- Round it up to 200. - All right.
- 250. - You can't keep rounding it up!
Listen, you're in big trouble, pal.
We want 300 grand, pay up or...
What? Pay up or I don't get my Mercedes?
Pay up or we'll cry.
No, pay up or you're dead!
- It's a bit of a cliché. - It's a classic!
It's not extra points for originality.
I'll load a dozen snakes in a cannon and fire 'em in your ass?
- Yeah, let's stick with dead. - Absolutely.
Be forceful but restrained.
You hear me you fuck? You fucking piece of shit?
Pay up or you're fuckin' dead!
It sounds like you've got Tourette's.
- How many "fucks"? - Two, maybe three, tops,
- but only if it gets heavy. - Right.
- You hear me, motherfucker? - Too American.
- Fucker! Little fucker. - Better.
- Cocksucker? - Too many Ks.
In a strange way it's too friendly, you know?
I do.
Be forceful but dignified. Don't stoop to their level.
- Forceful and dignified... - Right.
Come on, it stinks of pee in here, can you get a move on?
All right!
Danny! You listen to me, you arsehole!
We know you done that job.
What?
I don't know his last name!
OK, sorry to bother you.
- Great start. - Well, is that a two or a four?
Wait! Wait, wait, wait.
I just thought - you're a woman.
- Yeah. - They won't take orders from women.
They've just pulled off a multi-million pound robbery.
I don't think they're gonna take you seriously.
It's the 21st century. Women can do extortion.
Are you raising our consciousness or getting the money?
- Ideally, both. - I really think it needs a bloke.
Yeah?
- Danny? - Yeah.
- We know you done that job. - What?
The Goldmax Securities job. We know it was you.
- Who is this? - Never mind.
Just listen very carefully.
We want 300 grand or we'll go to the police.
- You must be joking. - No joke, Danny, you slag.
- How did you get this number? - Under "D" for "dickhead"!
Whoever you are, you are dead meat.
We'll see who's dead meat, pal.
Make the drop tomorrow night. You'll be hearing from me, tosser.
- I'll kill ya! - Yeah, right.
300 big ones or the cops'll be down on you like a ton of...
- Bricks. - Cops... bricks!
Up yours!
Girlfriend. Pain in the ass.
Any luck?
No.
I've had six people round now, not a single offer.
Maybe I should put a new kitchen in.
I wasn't talking about your bastard flat.
Forensic haven't found any prints.
No traces of anything.
The cutting equipment was imported on false papers. That's a dead end.
Well, that depends how you look at it, doesn't it?
Try thinking laterally.
One dead end could turn into an open highway.
On the other hand, we could try following up a clue.
The diver's watch - what do you think?
What about subaqua clubs?
It's an unclutched straw.
Might as well get out there and clutch it.
All right, where do we get them to leave the money?
- "Drop the money." They say drop. - Drop.
I don't know.
What about that big hydrangea bush?
A bank robber's not gonna know what a hydrangea bush is.
- In the john. - Yeah, but they lock them at night.
I've got it. Have them bury it in the sandpit.
No sand. Got stolen.
They stole the sand?
- That's just sick. - I know.
It's perfect.
Is that Danny?
- Yeah, it is. - 300 grand, cash.
Streatham Park. First bin inside the north gate.
- You listen... - 12.30 tonight, then naff off.
- You're in big trouble. - Be there or you'll be sorry.
You realize we've gotta take this bastard out... now.
Dunno. I need to speak to Major Mason.
I've spoken to Mason. He says he doesn't want a discussion,
he wants a nice, clean hit.
- Finished. - All right, all right!
If that's what he wants, we'll do it.
My bum's gone to sleep.
He's late.
- Will you keep still? - I am dying for a pee.
- You'll have to wait. - I can't.
- You should have gone before. - God, I am bursting.
Go in your knickers, then.
All right.
I can't do it, I'm too well trained.
He's not coming, is he?
I haven't wet myself since I was five.
Learning about Niagara Falls.
- Is that him? - I don't know!
It's him. Come on...
Come on, come on... Yes!
- It can't be as easy as this. - Wait!
He might be watching.
Wait, wait. What's he doing?
Hey, don't look in the bin. Don't look in the bin!
A bloke like that always looks.
Oh, great.
Now you'll have to fight him for it.
There's someone else.
Haven't these people got homes to go to?
It's Mason!
What the hell are you up to?!
- Where are you going? - We can't just leave him!
- Oh, God! - He's alive.
- Oh, my God! - Can you hear me? Can you hear me?
- He ran right in front of me! - I saw everything!
- I've called an ambulance. - Breathe gently.
- Is he dead? - Wait for the ambulance!
- It wasn't my fault! - I saw it - someone shot him.
Bastards!
- Will you wait?! - What happened?
He's got a bullet in the shoulder. Possible fractured skull.
Can you stand back, please!
Oh, my God! They shot that guy! Can you believe they shot that guy?!
Yes, I bloody can - they're criminals!
But that could've been us lying there, bleeding!
We were lucky. That poor man wasn't, thanks to you.
What?! Thanks to me?!
What?! How is it suddenly my fault?
- He's probably dying! - I didn't know!
Sorry, in your world they don't, do they?
People get shot, then walk away and the credits roll.
This is real, Francis. People get hurt and bleed and really do die!
Really? I didn't know that. Are you kidding me?
You think you're more in touch with real suffering
because you empty bedpans? Come on!
If you didn't know me your life would be even more sad and pathetic!
- What?! - Yeah.
- I'm jealous of your showbiz shit? - Yes.
- Well, fuck you! - Fuck you, too!
You know why you never get any decent jobs?
Cos you can't act!
So what were you doing, Danny?
- Mr... - Sit down.
Mr. Mason, I know I screwed up.
- I was trying to sort it out. - Oh, I see.
Someone tries to blackmail us and you sort it out
by shooting someone completely different?
Nice lateral thinking, you stupid bastard!
I didn't know what to do, I thought you'd be pissed off.
Now, you'd be right there.
But now I'm way off the scale of pissed off.
There are no words for what I am now.
- Understandably, Major Mason. - What about you, Barry?
I was badly misled, vis a vis your authorization.
So, how did this bloke get your number?
I don't know. I swear to you, I-I don't know.
Get him out of here before I kill him.
Give me that phone!
You keep out of trouble or I swear I will shoot you myself.
Copy that, roger and out.
One thing's for sure, Kerrigan won't be happy about this.
Thanks for pointing out the obvious.
Nice area. Not the kind of place you'd expect a street shooting.
- OK, keep back! - Excuse me, sir.
- This gentleman might... - I live at number 43.
- I saw everything. - Two girls were at the scene.
- One blonde, one brunette. - Quite attractive.
I'd say it was a drive-by. Could be related to drugs.
Yes, I wouldn't advertise that.
Prices here could go into free fall. Thank you.
Sir?
Fake bundles of money.
So, we've got a drop off, a double cross,
an ambush... and then what?
Then they shot a tramp.
Connection to the Goldmax job?
A blonde, brunette. Bit of a coincidence.
Maybe.
Who are these women?
All right, if you can get them before 10.
Excuse me, could we have a word?
I'm Detective Inspector Tremaine. This is DC McGill.
Hello. What do you want?
That man, has he said anything?
- Like what? - No talking in his sleep? Names?
No.
No, um, he's, um, he's unconscious.
Well, if he regains his faculties, let us know.
Of course.
Yes. That's my extension. I'll be getting a direct line soon.
Yes. Well, thanks for your help.
- If he talks, any little thing. - We'd better let you go.
- Never know, could be important. - Right.
Do you have to make it so obvious that you fancy her?
- Is he OK? - He'll live, just about.
Thank God.
What's that?
It's a present for you.
Thanks, it's horrible.
I thought you'd throw it at me so I didn't make much effort.
- Sorry about what I said. - Me too. I didn't mean it.
You were right, we shouldn't have been involved.
- No. - No more phone calls, no shootings.
Let's pretend this never happened. Everything will be like it was.
No.
No, cos it can't be, can it?
I mean, we're involved now, aren't we?
Nothing's like it was.
- Yeah? - Is that Danny?
- Who's this? - Where's Danny?
Danny's not available, you talk to me now.
Oh, yeah? Well, you double-crossed us. We had a deal.
You're in big trouble.
I don't think so.
Here's a new deal.
You don't call again and I don't kill you, all right?
Yeah? Yeah?! Well, you listen to me, you prat.
You big... prat. Price has gone up.
- We want half a mill. - Well, you can get stuffed.
Make that a million!
You wanna raise it again, you piece of shit?!
Listen, whoever you are. I'll find you and I'll hurt you. A lot.
Save the scary gangster talk, twathead,
- just get that money! - Are you threatening me?
A million quid?!
- I'm sorry, it just came out. - What did he say?
He's not happy.
He's definitely not happy.
This way. Mr. Kerrigan is expecting you.
Why do I always have to find out things for myself?
Wasn't worth bothering you with, Kerrigan.
I like you, Alan, that's why you're in charge.
But some joker tries to hit me for a million quid,
looks like there's been a balls-up. Talk to me.
Danny was probably mouthing off, guy overheard him, don't worry.
I am worried! I don't need this aggravation.
Look at the state of me, I'm all tense!
- I'm ageing prematurely. - Rubbish, Boss.
- Who is this toe rag? - No one we know.
He's got a weird accent, he sounds a bit like a...
I don't know what he sounds like.
Don't know who you're dealing with these days.
You got Turks, Russians, Kosovites...
All musclin' in.
I mean, who runs Cricklewood now, Jules?
- The Armenians. - There you go. The Armenians.
I mean, where the hell do they come from?
- Armenia, Boss. - Good boy.
At least someone knows what's goin' on.
I told you, I'll sort him. Don't worry.
Do not tell me not to worry!
Who are they? Don't they know who the fuck we are?!
Give me the towel.
- I'll find 'em, I'll... - I'm bored with this subject.
I want their testicles in a jar, got that?
- Got it. - Piss off.
Danny's phone's been cut off. Guess we're screwed.
We should've done more research -
there must be a blackmailing website.
All right, what do we have?
We've got three names: Danny, Kelly and Mason.
That first call, Danny mentioned another name, Kelly had been out...
- Right, somebody else was there. - Right.
- Mickey! - Mickey, that's it.
- And he worked in a club. - Right. The... the what?
- The-the-the-the... - The something.
- Yeah, the something. - All right. But it was like...
- something in your kitchen? - The... sink?
The sink, the fridge club, bread bin, the blender, cappuccino maker...
- The... the Mixer! - That's it! That's exactly it!
OK, we'll do the good-cop/bad-cop thing.
- What am I? - The good cop.
- Can't I be the bad cop? - No, you're too nice.
- Excuse me. - Excuse me!
- Hi! - Excuse me.
Hey! Hey! Hey! C'mere!
Where's Mickey?
All right, stay calm, we can do this. We're undercover cops.
- Mickey? - Yeah?
- You found me. - Detective Inspector McGill.
This is Detective... Warchowski.
We'd like to have a little chat.
Look, I don't know where Danny is.
- Why don't I believe you, scumbag? - Why are you protecting him?
Want me to take you down the station and beat it out of you?
I don't know where he is and I don't care!
Listen!
I know we look like girlies but we can hurt you, Mickey.
Ever had a stiletto through the bollocks?!
- Detective, can I? A quick word. - Don't move!
What are you doing? You're the good cop.
I like being the bad cop.
There can't be two bad cops.
No, but I know what I'm doing, OK?
- Oh, Christ. - Pills, trips, speed.
- I'm all set, thanks. - A shag?
How about a punch in the mouth?
You've pissed me off now, Mickey. You know what?
I'm gonna call in the squad to bust this place
and find half a kilo of smack up your arse.
And there's a new guy who'll enjoy planting it there.
- How about that? - Sounds good to me.
- You copy that? - W-w-w-wait, wait, wait. Look...
I might have an address.
So he's a scumbag, lowlife criminal from the East End.
- Is that compulsory? - You done a burglary before?
- No. - What if he comes back?
Can't be that difficult.
- Jump him and beat him senseless. - As long as I know.
OK, we're on.
- Hello? - Yeah, it's Martin.
- Hi, there! - Hi! How you doing?
Shit!
That's my library card, two credit cards, my cashpoint and video club.
I don't get it. It always worked on Charlie's Angels.
Christ.
You carry that with you all the time?
Papers, diaries, money, anything to do with Mason.
Shit!
- Filofax! - Just take it.
Danny? You there?
Who are you?
If the money's right, whoever you want me to be.
Who are you?
Where's Danny?
Said he'd be right back. I charge for waiting.
- What happened to the door? - Shithead lost his keys.
- Did he? - So who are you, then?
The man in charge?
Mr. Big?
I think you better go now.
Go where? He hasn't paid me yet.
You guys crack me up. What do you think I do this for - fun?
OK. Let's say he pays you... 100 quid to knob him?
I'll pay you 50 quid... to knob off.
See ya.
Forgot my Filofax.
I'm gonna go, then. See ya. Bye.
- Mr. Mason, what you doin' here? - I had a call from our friend.
Guess what? Now he wants a million quid.
Jesus.
And the bastard of it is, now I've got the old poof on me back.
And that's uncomfortable.
So...
what do I do with you, Danny?
I'll help you find him. I can do it. I'll make it my main thing.
You know... you remind me of your uncle.
- He was crap and all. - Mr. Mason, please don't hurt me...
I can do it. I can do it!
I won't rest and I won't sleep until I nail 'em.
You do that. You get out and you ask around.
You see what you can find out.
I will, absolutely. You can rely on me. Thanks!
On the other hand...
forget it.
Surprise!
Danny, can you hear me?
He's been shot. Severe chest wound. He's got a pulse but it's thready.
I've done everything I can. Just get here.
Danny Robinson.
Convictions for theft, burglary, accessory to robbery.
Place was ransacked, he was found shot in the chest.
Very sad. What's it got to do with us?
Two women were seen entering the flat.
- One blonde, one dark. - Yes.
- Quite attractive. - That word again.
- Now we're getting somewhere. - These two are annoying me.
- Can we ask him some questions? - No, he's in a coma. He can't talk.
- Has he had any visitors? - Two women, blonde and a brunette?
No. No...
No. No, definitely not.
Right. Thanks very much.
Do let us know if he gets any visitors, won't you?
- You can give me a call, any time. - Oh, I thought...
- You've already given her a card. - She might have lost it.
- Aren't there any other hospitals? - We get all the gunshots.
I found Mason's number in here and a lot of other names.
Let's turn this over to the cops.
Forget the police, we'll get these bastards ourselves.
And we better do it soon or they're gonna get us.
- Yeah? - Hello, Mason.
How did you get this number?
I looked you up in the phone book, under "M" for "moron".
Now, listen. We want a million quid, or we'll go to the filth.
Do it, you're getting nothing.
You like having the old poof on your back, do you?
- What do you know about Kerrigan? - We know a lot about Kerrigan.
Where to find him, what he has for breakfast,
and how many pieces of paper he uses to wipe his big fat Khyber Pass!
- I want a meeting. - A meeting? No meeting.
No meeting, no deal.
You get one more chance, sunshine, then we go to the cops.
Bugger. It's not working.
We threaten him, he tells us to piss off,
he wants a meeting, we tell him to piss off.
It could go on for months!
- We've gotta up the stakes. - We don't have stakes to up. Do we?
- Whereabouts is it? - Parliament Square.
David, take me to Parliament Square.
What the hell?
I grant you it's embarrassing, but it's a bluff.
A bluff?!
They've got my name on a 40-foot poster in the middle of town!
My bloody name! It's an outrage!
- Oh, put the bloody thing down! - All right.
- They'll die tomorrow. - So you said.
But they're still very much a-fucking-live!
Look, it's not just your head on the block here, it's all of us.
Exactly. There's Danny - he's probably blabbin' right now.
- He won't talk. - He shouldn't be able to talk!
- He should be in the river! - You be careful.
Without me the wheels would've come off this operation years ago.
Nobody is unexpendable, Mason.
Don't you threaten me, old man, cos right now I'm all you've got.
Just shut up and listen.
This is what we do.
When they get in touch... we agree to pay up.
A million quid?! Have you gone completely Tonto?!
We're not gonna pay 'em!
We arrange the drop, flush 'em out and kill 'em!
All right.
All right. Do it.
Mason?
One more cock-up and we say goodbye.
Relax.
We're in business.
- Yeah? - Hello? He's here.
- I'm getting on the train. - Good. Just be careful.
OK, Good luck.
Listen. Get a ticket for the next train. 47 minutes past.
You're cutting out.
- Is that better? - What?
Goddamn cellphone!
Hello? Hello?
Hello?! Can you hear me now?
Just tell me which train.
The train to Brighton. Get in the third carriage from the front.
- Where do we meet? - I'll call you.
- No... - Don't miss it!
Mind the doors!
You gotta be kidding me. Cows.
Move it! Move it, you dumb...
Move, move, move it! Scram!
Here, here!
Fetch! Shoo! Scram! Go! Go!
- Where are you? - Where do you think I am?!
- Passed Gatwick Airport yet? - Have we passed Gatwick Airport?
- What, Gatwick? - Yeah.
Yes, yes, we have... passed it.
Yeah.
Next station the train goes over a viaduct.
As you go over it throw the case out the left hand side.
- What? - Make sure it goes over the edge.
I haven't come all this way to start chucking money away.
- You got that? - Yeah... just...
- Just do it! - Hello?
Hi! How are ya?
What the hell are you doing? This is private land.
Oh, you know, I didn't see a sign.
You're not supposed to be here.
I was just admiring your cows.
They're really... Are they Friesians?
Will you just bugger off?
You know what? I will, happily, in just a few seconds.
You misunderstand, when I say "bugger off" I mean it!
Come on.
I've asked you politely - I want you to get off my land, now!
Oh, God, give me five minutes!
- I'm telling you! - What?
You'll cut off my legs? I've been there, pal.
- That's it. I'm calling the police. - It doesn't work!
- Right, throw it out. - Throw it out?
- Over the side. - Over the side?
What are you, a bloody parrot? Just do it!
Come here, stomping all over my land...
Christ!
It's OK, that's for me.
- Oh, my God! - Sorry about your roof!
You're not leaving!
Look what you...
Bastards! Are you OK?
- What the bloody hell was that? - You'll live.
Mother?!
- Yeah? - It's Kerrigan.
Kerrigan!
I've been on to my man down in the nick.
The police are looking for two women.
- What? - A blonde one and a dark one.
That prosser in Danny's flat, she was one of 'em.
He was probably shooting his mouth off to her.
- And the guy who keeps phoning? - He's their pimp. They're amateurs.
- I knew it. - The dark one wears a big watch.
Sort of divers watch, lot of fancy dials on it.
Anything else?
I don't wanna be double-crossed by a pair of bloody tarts.
- It's bad for my image. - It's all under control.
You know what you gotta do?
Come on, come on, come on.
We are now approaching Haywards Heath.
Next stop, Haywards Heath.
Act normally, or you're dead.
- Tickets, please. - I haven't got one.
It's a criminal offence.
- Shannon! - But I'll turn a blind eye.
- Shannon! Get in! - Just drive!
- Oh, God! - There was a bomb.
- A bomb? - Yeah!
Wankers!
Nasty, mean, horrible, violent wankers!
We've been going about this all wrong.
They want to kill us, why don't we kill them?
It's Kerrigan.
Remember I said one more cock-up and we say goodbye?
Call me.
Hello, Mason.
- Where's the money, Mason? - Kiss my arse!
Tell us where it is and we'll let you go.
All right. It's in the safe.
Did you find the safe?
- No. - Well, what have you been doing?
What? "What have I been doing?"
You bunch of amateurs.
Yeah? If we're amateurs how come you're tied up?
It's Kerrigan. What is going on, Alan?
Pick up the phone. I hope you're not thinking of going away.
He sounds a bit upset.
Maybe we should call him back.
He comes round, you're dead. Suits me.
Admit it, you're out of your depth.
So what now?
I could shoot you.
- I'd hit something at this range. - You haven't got the guts.
OK, where's the top man? I wanna talk.
You'll find him under "B", for "behind you."
So it really is just the two of you, is it?
You've made my day. Safety catch is on.
Oh, dear. It's not going well, is it?
You think this is funny? Do you think this is funny?
You bloody low life!
- I've had enough. - What are you doing?
- Insulin.
5 milligrams and you're groggy. 10 milligrams and you're dead.
- You can't be serious? - He's getting more than that.
- Are you crazy? - What is your problem?
This has gone far enough!
What are we gonna do, just let him walk out of here?
- Shannon, he's not worth this! - Now you've used my real name.
Now I'll have to kill him.
What's happened to you? It's just money - my God!
It doesn't matter!
Every day I see people beaten and killed for money.
People die because there isn't enough money.
Money means life or death. So it does matter.
It matters a lot.
I don't want any part of this.
- What? - This was your bloody idea!
You're leaving because it's too scary?
You're too scary for me! You're out of control! I'm leaving.
- You're not. - Or what?
What, you're gonna shoot me? You can't shoot him! Grow up.
- I will shoot you. - Fuck off.
What?
Right, where were we?
Keep away from me, you mad bitch!
No, it's all right, Mason.
It's all right! It's a painless death.
Are you worried that you'll go to hell?
- You should be. - OK, I'll tell you!
You know something - I don't trust you. Isn't that weird?
No! God!
Right. Now, that's 5 milligrams.
Enough to make you feel a bit spacey.
- You want the rest? - Behind the cabinet!
- Are you sure? - Yes! Yes!
I think that's enough.
You won't have to stay here for long. I'll call the police.
I'll find you, and you'll wish you'd been strangled at birth.
Don't be so childish.
Let me get that for you.
You in a spot of trouble, guv'nor?
So how do you feel now?
Not so brave, eh?
Not so bloody clever.
- Mason residence. - Take things from me?
Mr. Kerrigan, guv'nor. It's a bad line.
Kerrigan. Yeah, we've got all the money.
Sorry, what?
What, now?
OK, OK!
You're lucky to be alive, for the moment.
Get the bags, we're leavin'.
Hold on, hold on. Kerrigan. He said bring her over.
- Yeah? - How did he know there's only one?
What?
When you came in you didn't notice anything...
- like a dead body? - What?
Over here!
- You could've killed me! - There wasn't any danger.
These people are gonna be so sorry.
- Excellent death. - For someone who can't act.
Listen to my Kerrigan impression.
"I want her alive. Bring her to me."
- "Bring them." - I know, I know.
Jesus, what's all this?!
Help yourself.
- You missed the house. - I haven't got my eye in.
- Who's out there?! - Two women is who's out there!
Shooting at me with me own soddin' guns!
- What's up? - I dunno, I feel sort of...
- We've gotta go. - There's another bag.
- Leave it. - No, it'll pay for a casualty unit!
You are so... OK, we'll get it.
- Where's the bag? - It's out there.
Get it.
- I'll cover you. - Cover me?
- It's all right, I'll use this one. - Just wait.
Bloody hell!
Come on!
- There's four of 'em! - Come on, get in!
- I hit one of them. - Good. That's the idea.
Left flank! Incoming!
Sorry, didn't mean to hit you!
Put pressure on the wound! I'll call an ambulance!
- Sergeant, we're surrounded! - That's my bloody car!
Fall back!
We did it.
Yeah. We did.
Well, is this is another dead-end or an open highway?
It's a roundabout. Turn left.
Christ on a bike. What's happened here?
Don't know. But I'd say it's knocked a good 20,000 off the property.
Back for more, you heathens!
All present and correct.
I've seen worse than this. Things you wouldn't believe!
And there were four of the bitches!
Four of them!
I need an ambulance!
I've been shot!
You...
All of you!
I like you.
Man down.
What you have here, McGill, is a robbery gone bad.
Flushed with success, the gang turn on each other like hungry dogs.
Greed and vaulting ambition was their downfall.
What's that? Hamlet?
No. I made it up myself.
I find that crime sometimes stimulates my creative juices.
- You should write it down. - Yes.
What was it again?
Scanner, monitors, defibrillator, ECG?
- What else is in there? - I dunno. An MRI scanner.
- All sorts of stuff. - Where's it from?
I dunno. It's all paid for. Sign here, it's all yours.
- You all right? - I'm OK.
Wasn't sure about giving all the money to the hospital.
- You're taking it really well. - Am I? I feel kinda liberated.
Make a million, give it all away. What the hell?
- It's the right thing to do. - You're right.
I couldn't live with myself if we'd saved any.
Oh, my God!
Oh, my God.
If you can't live with yourself, I'll understand.
- You lied to me. - I did.
It's OK, cos, look...
I saved just a little bit, too. For food and gas, you know...
- Incidentals. - Don't explain.
Oh, God.
What's this?
- A scanner. - Really?
You never know.
You are so needy, Carol. You're suffocating me.
I-I can't breathe, I need more space.
I don't... I feel trapped!
Look, if you keep a songbird in a cage
eventually he'll die...
Wanker!